Let’s Talk About Lesbian Sex, BV, and Gyno Gaps: Why Queer Bodies Deserve Better Care (and More Pleasure)

BV is the most common vaginal infection for people with vulvas. It happens when the delicate balance of bacteria in the vagina gets thrown off, often leading to:

• A thin, grayish discharge

• A “fishy” smell, especially after sex

• Itching or burning

What we do know is BV can be linked to sexual activity, and people often mistake it for a yeast infection. Left untreated, it can increase the risk of other infections and even complicate fertility. However, BV is not solely an STI because it can happen within the body not due to sexual activity. It is also recurring. Up to 80% of those treated with antibiotics experience BV again within a year.

Multiple studies, including a landmark 2007 review published in Sexually Transmitted Infections: found that women who have sex with women are significantly more likely to develop recurrent BV, especially when:

• There’s frequent sharing of toys, fingers, and oral sex without cleaning or protection

• Both partners have BV, which makes it easier to ping-pong the bacteria back and forth

• There’s less access to healthcare or routine testing
  
  

In one study from the American Journal of Public Health, 53% of women who have sex with women had BV at some point — more than twice the rate seen in heterosexual populations.

BUT LET’S BE SUPER CLEAR: Queer sex doesn’t cause BV, but it can create an environment where BV is more likely to thrive, especially if no one’s telling you that it even exists.

Because the medical system still doesn’t take queer people seriously.

• Misgendering and heteronormative assumptions make it hard for many queer folks to access compassionate gynecological care that address our specific needs.

• Many lesbian or queer AFAB people say things like “I don’t have sex with men, so I don’t need to go to the gyno,” which is a myth.

• Sex ed still overwhelmingly centers cis men and hetero PIV (penis-in-vagina) sex, not oral, digital, or toy-based intimacy.
  
  

This gap in care creates a cycle: Avoiding the doctor → untreated symptoms → more BV → shame or confusion → more avoiding the doctor

It’s not your fault. But it is your right to understand your body and demand better.

You deserve a provider that doesn’t make you “come out” every time you are there. A comprehensive provider helps us talk about our body and issues with more freedom. Don’t settle for less. If your doctor can’t talk to you without assumptions or shame, fire them. Choose a provider that is supportive. Use directories like:

• Outcare LGBTQ+ Provider Directory
  

• Plume (for trans and nonbinary care)

• GLMA Healthcare Directory 

Just because your partner doesn’t have symptoms doesn’t mean they don’t have BV or other imbalances. It’s easy to re-infect one another, especially with shared toys or fluids.

• Wash toys thoroughly with fragrance-free soap and water after each use.

• Use barriers like dental dams, nitrile gloves, or condoms on toys.

• Avoid back-and-forth play (anus to vagina) without cleaning in between.

If you want to be fluid-bonded - make sure to have up to date testing.

We know you’re already good at self-care (I feel like the gays invented it). Let’s take it deeper with vaginal wellness routines that don’t just react to infections — they prevent them.

•  Soothe and Restore Salve:  Our Multi-Use Salve is soothing and antimicrobial. Use it after sex or at the first sign of irritation. Lot of friction in WLW sex, give your vulva the TLC it deserves.

•  Hydrosol:  Refreshing, pH-supportive, and perfect post-hookup. Hopping on the subway after a late night? Hydrosol is a must.

•  Tonic  : Use in the bath for a sexy antimicrobial boost or apply to groomed, waxed or shaved body hair. Great post sex or during the menstrual cycle

These products were literally created for moments like this gentle, plant-based, non-toxic care for bodies that want to have a little extra fun without paying the price. 

There’s nothing sexier than being in tune with your body. And yes, good sex can absolutely support your health.

• Intimacy increases vaginal lubrication and circulation.

• Orgasms release oxytocin, which can reduce inflammation.

• Emotional connection with your partner(s) can lower cortisol and stress hormones big win for your immune system and ability to fight infection.

Shame is out, informed sexual health is in. 

Pride is protest. Pride is pleasure. Pride is knowing what you need and taking it.

When we talk openly about sapphic sex and gynecological health, we’re not just protecting ourselves, we’re empowering each other. We’re ending cycles of misinformation. We’re saying:

“My health matters. My sex life matters. My body deserves care.”

Q: Why do WLW relationships and queer AFAB people get BV more often?
A: Shared vaginal flora, limited sex education, and lack of inclusive medical care.

Q: Why don’t they go to the doctor as much?
A: Mistrust, past discrimination, lack of queer-informed providers.

Q: What can I do about it?

• Find queer-friendly doctors.

• Get tested.

• Clean shared toys/barriers.

• Build a daily or post-sex wellness routine.

• Educate yourself (and your partner).

Celebrate your body, in and out of the bedroom.

Taking care of your body isn’t just maintenance, it's daily practice.To yourself, your partners, your community. We believe every queer person deserves access to honest information, affirming care, and good sex.

This Pride, raise a glass to your microbiome. Get the toys and the wash. Book the appointment. Ask the questions. Share this blog. Text your friends. Be proud of knowing better, and doing better.

From your favorite gay wellness brand,

With love (and lube),

Momotaro Apotheca + Banana Split